God Spoke To Me

There I was sitting on the toilet this morning, as I always do. Taking care of the demons in my stomach. Truth be told, I have not been feeling all that great about myself the past few days. For reasons that I do not wish to share on this blog.

But there I was, the few places that I pray are when I am in the shower, working out or on the toilet. I tend to pray more privately these days… As I was sitting on my throne, I was noticing all the negative thoughts coming out from my mind, making their way to my heart.

When I heard and felt a soft whisper say from underneath all of the crap coming out of (non pun intended).

Your my son… 

I know its crazy, and this blog might very well make you think that of me. So be it. For many religious crack heads have said that God spoke to them, well, let me tell you quickly why my experience is different. The words that were spoken to me, can be back up with scripture.

Psalm 2:7

Matthew 3:17

Luke 15:11-32

To name a few, I don’t think this is as crazy, because God speaks to various people in various ways through out the whole of scripture. Further more, the Lord reminding me that I am his son, is far (far) different than some other Christian claiming “the phone rang and that was a sign I was meant to marry this person!”

I know my soul needed these words today, I needed to be reminded of my true identity today. Does this happen often to me? No, but when it does. Its very special to me. Today my hope and prayer is that you know that God loves you, in Christ all things can be made new.

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A Letter of Sorts to The Highly Sensitive Person.

It’s nothing personal… 

I’m sure we have all heard that phrase before and have even said it ourselves. I wonder, though, how many of us hate hearing it or get greatly annoyed when these words are spoken to us or even when we say them ourselves.

I think at times, though, it is personal and things tend to hurt if we gave ourselves the time to stop and feel the pain. For the highly sensitive person, this can be strangely difficult because we tend to feel things in such a deep way.

Stop being so sensitive! To an extent, I can agree that maybe they’re those of us who might very well be over sensitive. But being a sensitive person by itself is not a bad thing. In fact, I see being a sensitive person as being a magnificent thing. We could use some more sensitive people in the world.

Too many of us are blind to the pain of others, either that or we simply stuck and frozen in ourselves not knowing what to do about it. I am that highly sensitive person; I do feel things very deeply. Often I wish I could stop feeling altogether. Yet I believe that being a highly person is a gift.

If you are one that would identify as being a highly sensitive person, I would first suggest that you do more research here: hsperson.com). Secondly, as a high sensitive person, you’re created with unique gifts and talents that no one else has. You have great value and person, God made you the way you are and loves you as you are. God longs for you to turn your  attention to him, and let him love you in ways you never thought were possible.

The biggest bit of wisdom I can give you is to learn  to sit in Gods presence, that might difficult if you aren’t sure where you stand in regards to faith. Maybe you don’t believe in God at all. But I can tell you honestly that as a highly sensitive person, clinging to the love that Christ has for me has allowed me to have an intimacy that I have always longed for. You won’t find a love as wide and deep as you will the love of Christ.

 

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What Can The Secular Say To The Holy?

I am working on a new manuscript, a devotional entitled What Can The Secular Say To The Holy (And Vice Versa). The manuscript takes mainstream “secular songs and filtering them through a Christ-centered lens.  Here is a sample of what I am working on:

Day Three

In Your House I long to be, Room by room patiently, I’ll wait for you there like a stone.

-AudioSlave

The focus of every Christian should be the presence of God, we are to hunger and thrust for it. The psalmist David once wrote “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God” (Psalm 42). In our physical thirst we long for something to quench our thirst, our physical thirst should in some ways be a reflection of our spiritual thirst. Jesus said that when we drink of his living water (John 4:14), of course one might wonder, even when I do have Christ in my life, why do I still thirst. It might seem quite paradoxical, but I believe that God created us to thirst for him and nothing else, he gave us a thirst that only he can satisfy. The problem is then is that we all believe that other that other things can satisfy, be it people, relationships, sex and other forms of gratification. These things are not bad, relationships, sex, food and things of that nature are meant to be enjoyed, both because they’re all gifts from the grand creator and they are meant to point us to his glory. So as I find myself listening to the lyrics of AudioSlave, I can’t help but long for to be in God’s presence, in his house, room by room being being surrounded by his presence.

Again, one might ask, what if I’m seeking the Lords presence and can’t “feel” anything? Great question, I believe that the key comes in the above AudioSlave lyrics, Patiently, like a stone.   Like a stone we patiently wait for the Lords presence, we refuse to move until we have his presence. Moses pleaded these words to God in Exodus 33:15, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” I think our attitudes should be the same as Moses if the Lords presence is not with us, then we shouldn’t even consider moving. Of course, though, as believers, we have the Lords presence and constant favor. Nothing can separate us from that (Romans 8:35-39). Again, having longings for other things like connection, intimacy, community and so on are beautiful and Godly. But nothing can satisfy and sustain us as the Lords presence. Seek him now at this moment.

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Love and How The World Was Made.

For as long as I can remember, there has always been the debate of creation vs evolution. I’ve never really been good at debating my position on the issue. But yes, I believe that God created this world by his artistic hand. I believe that there was a Adam and Eve and by their actions this world spun into the chaos that it is in.

I know some will object by saying “but how? You can’t possibly know that”. But I actually think we can, I think that most people who have undergone tremendous circumstances, that doesn’t mean that everyone who hasn’t endured great suffering couldn’t believe in something greater than themselves.

My point is that people who have suffered are sometimes more open to the idea to the idea that God is with them and will help them in their pain. Yet, suffering can sometimes harden a person’s heart as well. I used to be that way, I thought God was a evil and sadistic for enduring such pain in my life.

But now I know that all the pain has led me to the point of knowing him and how much he loves me. As we enter valentines day tomorrow, yes I feel alone, yes something inside me still hurts. Something inside me longs for a mate to walk through life with. I believe that even Adam felt that way too, even with the tasks that God put before him, or that maybe God knew that Adam would be better off with a helper.

If you’re lonely today, if you long, I want you to first know that God loves you first, he is with you in the longing and pain. There might be some other things that you and I might have to endure first, but it is for the formation of our character and to deepen the intimacy between us and God as well.

It’s not wrong to long for a mate, that in itself is a gift. But one thing we have to consider is that people will never love us fully as God can. People will let us down, hurt us, betrayed us and completely forsake us.  This doesn’t make the ache any less, but we have the greatest arm to rest on as we walk.

Hold your head up, it’s going to be okay.images

 

 

 

A Brief Note On Anxiety

It’s hard living with anxiety, especially when your a Christ. Right now the thought that overloads my thought process is.

“Your a Christian, you shouldn’t struggle with anxiety.”

“You should be ashamed that you have it”.

When anxiety overcomes me, is so painfully draining and overwhelming. It’s hard for me to even approach God in prayer. But maybe it’s all the more reason to draw near to Him in the first place. I mean, when life is fine and dandy, I barely think of Him. As though I am some kind of fair weather friend.

But maybe in our suffering is when we learn to know God and His love most. Know this, your not a freak for having anxiety in your life, your not a horrible christian if you have anxiety.

God still loves you and you are the apple of his eye.

Looking at Jesus

The more I read trough the bible, the more convinced that Jesus is who he says he is. As CS Lewis Brilliantly wrote:

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

For me, it is extremely difficult to read about his life, how he fearlessly loved people, how he performed miracles and he was strong like a lion. Growing up in a buddhist family, I was never drawn to the teaching of Buddha, they way I was to Christ.

Jesus takes failures and outcasts and re-writes their history with grace. He doesn’t allow them to stay as they are, but ignites their hearts to live for something greater. I know that around this time of year a lot of people like to present what they believe Jesus looked like, I mean, I tend to believe that he was more of the short haired person that resembled something like this:

jesus-christ

Though, I like to believe he had a much thicker beard and was a man that wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. The point I want to make with this, is that when we are faced with shame, guilt, despair, loneliness, rejection, regret and so many more avenues of human life. That when we face these elements of life, we must teach ourselves to look at the face of Jesus. Knowing that when we are in Christ, we are looking into the eyes of a God-man that doesn’t see us as we see ourselves. In fact, he see’s us a white as snow.

May we patiently teach ourselves to look into the saviors eyes, and there we will find our fullest worth and who we truly are.

 

What’s It’s Like To Live With Cerebral Palsy?

I was pondering/praying for a blog topic to write on this morning, and the question came to mind: What is it like to live with cerebral palsy? Honestly at different points in my life the answer would have varied. There would have been days where I would have said that it absolutely sucked and days where it was something in the back of mind.

I’m sure that there will be days where I will again say that it sucks, and my body will ache. But more so now, I see it more as a blessing and motivation. Why? You ask, because I wasn’t supposed to be able to do much on my own, on the other hand doctors said that I would “grow out” of this condition.

I see my cerebral palsy, as a means to prove people wrong and to motivate others to strive for the best life possible. There have been seasons where depression and self-loathing where like a close companion, following my every step. But my faith in the one true God was the silencer to the despair.

His love has broken through the pain, the fear, the shame and lifted me to the sky. It is because of this fact, that I am proud to say that I am nothing without him. If you are a person living with cerebral palsy, don’t let it stop you, let it be a means of motivation, prove others wrong who say you can’t. Let it be a means to inspire others and meet others where they are.

If you are a parent of a son or daughter, who has cerebral palsy. Comfort them in the dark and heavy times, but also refuse to let them stay where they are. Motivate them to rise above always. Love them always.321679_10150871924185165_448704118_n